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For many of us, existential dread consumes our Sundays, and that’s not an exaggeration. On Sundays, I cross my fingers and hope that my mind won’t wander to looming tasks, filling me with worry over whether I have everything in order, did everything I needed to the week before, and caught up with the friends and family I meant to call. But my mind wanders. And then it wanders again the next Sunday.
It’s not solely the anticipation, and even fear, of the piles of unanswered emails and the responsibilities ahead, but more long-term worries about life satisfaction and purpose, too. One blogger wrote, “when Sunday hits you question your entire existence.” The weekend already passes us by so quickly, why do we spend it feeling so much stress about the week before it even starts?
The phenomenon known as ‘Sunday scaries,’ which entered the Urban dictionary in 2009, refers to anxiety about the upcoming workweek. Also called the ‘Sunday blues,’ it leads to a variety of symptoms, like a racing heart rate, irritability, restlessness, looming negative thoughts, upset stomach, headache, or sweating.
The anticipation can put us into a “hyper-alert state,” which can exacerbate any “minor inconveniences” we experience on Sunday already, and make the day that much more challenging, Mark Debus, manager of behavioral health services at Sedgwick, tells Fortune.
The scaries also come from “time anxiety,” or our fear that we won’t have enough hours in the day for our upcoming tasks, he says. Those who who have committed responsibilities on Sundays or serve as a caretaker, for example, and don’t have upcoming tasks but rather constant tasks, the scaries may not be confined to one day.
With this in mind, here are some expert tips to help you take the day back:
Know you’re not alone
Since the term gained momentum and now sits in our modern lexicon, countless videos and tips have circulated the internet. ‘The Sunday Scaries Podcast’ hosted by Will deFries markets itself as “a cure for the Sunday blues” and serves as an outlet for those who experience the anxiety Sunday brings—something deFries has experienced himself.
“After re-watching You’ve Got Mail enough times to sing the soundtrack by heart (in order, mind you), he decided it was time to turn his weekly panic attacks into a creative outlet,” his podcast’s website reads.
Sunday routines and tips to manage the feelings of doom found an audience on TikTok, where videos using the hashtag #sundayscaries have garnered over 250 million hits: One video reading “If you’re feeling the Sunday Scaries, take a deep breath with me,” and another with, “mantras to combat the Sunday Scaries.”
What’s your Sunday game plan?
When I wake up with those nerves, and I can’t really pinpoint what I’m stressed about, I know I have a routine that I can follow strictly or casually depending on how I feel.
“Some of the anxiety you feel about your transition into the work week may stem from the switch from unstructured time to very structured time,” says Dr. Anisha Patel-Dunn, a psychiatrist and chief medical officer at LifeStance Health, which provides in-person and virtual care. She says that making a plan for Sunday (not a work plan, but an activities plan) can help ease into a busy work week.
On Sunday mornings, I’ve been trying a new coffee or pastry shop, usually accompanied by my book and sometimes a friend. It’s an easy routine that I don’t have to depend on others for, which has allowed me to enjoy a slower morning and instill some mindfulness into the day before a busy week.
Dora Kamau, a mindfulness meditation teacher at Headspace Inc., points to the fear many of us have about doing things alone but says in a virtual event about the podcast she hosts, Sunday Scaries by Headspace, that “choosing when to be alone” can be a powerful tool to rejuvenate and own your time. It can also serve as self-care.
Having something calming to look forward to on Sundays is a place to start, Patel-Dunn says. Consider anything from reading, to walking, or listening to your favorite podcast. A way to beat the scaries can just be taking more control over your day and saving the day for an activity that you enjoy.
“Cooking your favorite dish, meeting a friend for lunch, or spending extra time on your self-care routine at home can all be ways to help replace negative emotions with positive ones,” Patel-Dunn says.
Even committing to no screen time an hour before bed or laying out your outfit for Monday morning the night before can help build routine and lessen stress for the morning, she says.
The thoughts may still be there despite the activities you aim to do as a distraction, and that’s why fighting stress during the week matters too.
Manage stress during the week
Sunday scaries can come from feeling completely overworked and overwhelmed throughout the week, and being terrified of hitting repeat and doing it all over again. Taking micro-breaks during the week and incorporating things you enjoy, even mindfulness and gratitude practices, can help relieve some of the stress that then can pile up on Sundays, Debus says.
“Our brains need moments of levity to stop us from ruminating on stressful situations. Laugh at yourself or with others, find things that are enjoyable and grant yourself the time and space to do them on a recurring basis,” he says.
Make a list for Monday
Put pen to paper and write out what you have to accomplish the next week on the Friday before, so it can alleviate some of the stress of the unknown. That way, when the work week finishes, you have more control over what’s coming next.
“It allows you to worry about Monday on Monday, as opposed to occupying your thoughts on Sunday,” Debus says.
Knowing that Sunday and Monday may have that extra jolt of anxiety, it may help to not procrastinate work at the end of the week for Monday and limit the tasks that seem more stressful in the beginning of the week if you can.
Talk to yourself gently
While turning anxious thoughts into action is one way to alleviate Sunday scaries, quieting down the voice in your head feels like a whole other beast, which still rambles in my mind even if I look like I’m having fun on a Sunday. I’ve found it helpful to practice kind self-talk because I’ve noticed that a lot of the anxious thoughts come from feeling like I am unprepared for what’s to come or not feeling confident in my abilities. It even comes from feeling nervous about things in the future that I can’t control or even anticipate. A phrase as simple as, “I am trying my best today,” or “I deserve to feel ok today” can help. Just breathing and reminding myself of what I have accomplished, potentially making a “to done” list as a form of self-affirmation can reduce stress levels and improve self-confidence.
“If the Sunday Scaries hit like clockwork, there’s more we can do than wish Mondays would go away,” a blog post reads on Headspace. “Using mindfulness and meditation basics, we can change the way we relate to our feelings about the upcoming week, learn better ways to deal with worrying thoughts about the future, and feel less stressed while we’re off the clock.”
In the Headspace virtual session, Kamau spoke alongside Gael Aitor, host of the podcast Teenager Therapy, where they both remind people to reflect on the times you have gone through discomfort before. While we always fear the unknown, Sundays come and go, and that’s probably one of the most consistent things we can hold.
Constant intrusive thoughts may also be a sign of a mental health condition that needs further treatment. It’s important to note that for some, the scaries are more than the nerves about upcoming responsibilities, whether that stems from feeling undervalued or disrespected at work, or a host of other experiences that can make Sundays—and any other day—truly dreadful. While these are tips that may work for some, it’s important to seek help from a licensed mental health provider if the situation is more dire.
After many dreadful Sundays, I’ve slowly begun to happily anticipate my Sunday mornings as a time dedicated to slowing down, and reading or talking with someone on the phone with a cup of coffee, rather than feeling trapped in my space and unable to give myself permission to enjoy the day. I’m not naive enough to think that one day I’ll wake up and never worry or dread the hustle culture that consumes so many of us, but starting small and being mindful of how we talk to ourselves when we face unwanted thoughts matter, and it’s something I aim to work on.
