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Dear Moneyist,
I have been married for three years, and my husband and I are in our 70s. My husband previously promised me his apartment and 15% of his assets. However, after visiting with his daughter he made a new will with a trust. I also have to pay the expenses, which I probably can’t afford. Now I will only inherit 10% of his estate and the right to stay in the apartment for the rest of my life.
Also see: Can I leave my stepchildren nothing if my husband dies?
Is that legal in New Jersey where we live? And if he dies before I do, what do I do for other resources? I would not like to go against his will. (I am one of two executors.) It’s not fair. His total assets are valued at more than $2 million, but that includes his apartment. Mine are worth approximately $300,000, and I have no other home.
Left in the lurch
Dear Lurched,
Your letter is proof that millennials are unfairly tarred with the moniker of being the most entitled of all generations. You’ve got a pretty good deal.
Let’s recap: You’ve been married to this man for three years, you’re both in your 70s and he reduced his promise from 15% of his $2 million to 10%. That’s a notable, but not massive reduction. When he promised you his home, he may not have been clear. Would you have married him if you had known his daughter would ultimately inherit his home?
Look at this another way: If your father married a woman and, after three years of marriage, decided to give his new wife his home instead of you — his flesh and blood, his daughter who he has known his entire life — would you think that was fair? I’m guessing you would be writing to the Moneyist and wondering who this new wife thinks she is.
You could challenge the will, but you wouldn’t have much success. The judge might make the reasonable observation that 10% of an estate that you had no role in building and a house that you didn’t make any mortgage payments towards is more than generous after three, five or more years of marriage. That’s a lot of free stuff for being a loving, devoted wife.
Who should pay the expenses if you don’t? Your husband from the grave? Should he leave money to pay for them too? In a way, he did: 10% of his estate. Or should his daughter pay for the privilege of not realizing her inheritance until you pass away? That could be another (hopefully) 20 or 30 years. His last will and testament sounds more than generous.
I wouldn’t raise any ructions, if I were you. He may keep knocking 5% off your inheritance until you end up with zero and a notice to vacate after six months.
Recommended: My husband mooched off me for 8 years — should I spend my money before we divorce?
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Hello there, MarketWatchers. Check out the Moneyist private Facebook group, where we look for answers to life’s thorniest money issues. Readers write in to me with all sorts of dilemmas: inheritance, wills, divorce, tipping, gifting. I often talk to lawyers, accountants, financial advisers and other experts, in addition to offering my own thoughts. I receive more letters than I could ever answer, so I’ll be bringing all of that guidance — including some you might not see in these columns — to this group. Post your questions, tell me what you want to know more about, or weigh in on the latest Moneyist columns.
